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I am me.

i am always proud that i am an unselfish and more of giving nature person. but this character doesn’t help me always..once in a while i face problem because of my nature and i get into trouble or get hurt. From my child hood my father raised me telling one thing that whenever you get  a chance to help somebody who are in need and never hesitate.

 
i do enjoy helping others and that gives me a kind of happiness. but why sometime it goes wrong? i get badly hurt when someone gets all the help from me when they are in need and turn their back on me when it’s not required from me.
 
i feel the person who are self centered are more happier in their life than the person who always lend their hand..why so?  is it because human always expect in return of everything they do? 
 
sometime i wish i don’t interfere in anybodies matter or take their problem into my mind. but it is a difficult for me because its who i am. 
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This assertion we all know…yet I learnt it only very recently and how important it is, to have a peaceful life. It almost took me 30+ years to learn that being assertive will  greatly reduce  issues and not leading into a bigger one.

I always find it very difficult to say NO when somebody request for something…but I accept the request and do the job, sometimes with full of irritation.  Am I doing a fair job? No not at all.. thinking that I am helping them or pleasing them. In long run I sometime think I being misused , but it’s not their fault, it’s me who is pretending to be nice to others always..it’s me who always accept at first place showing without any hesitation.  Due to this habit of mine, I endured many problems from my childhood till now, in both professional or in personal life. Now I realized it is such a foolishness trying be good and nice to everybody all the time.  

Even in married life, assertiveness is very important. Saying yes always, even when you don’t want to, will not stop creating a problem…it may for a time being but it may not be the wise choice…some time our views might be right and it may be the right decision …this I learnt when my hubby want to continue his higher education..I was really happy when he got admission in top college but a little worried about how we are going to manage everything… then again, when my father consoled me, I was ok with his higher education decisions…but later when we faced the reality especially when our children needed to sacrifice certain things, it hurts me…now I feel I could  have been very assertive about not moving the children across the country.  My husband may have been upset for few months but in the long run he might have forgotten. 

Not only I have seen a few friends who are not happy with their hubby’s decision ….they may say ok for  it, even when they are not happy with it and  they don’t engage in a meaningful discussion to express their views …if one person is affected in the family, over all everybody is affected. There is a saying that ‘respect shouldn’t be asked’…but it’s not true because if we don’t get respect we have to fight and get it..to lead fulfilled life.
On the other I need to say this, my husband’s love is my greatest strength to have happy life.

Being mom….

Being mom…. 

Being mom is not as easy as I thought…its the most responsible position than any other. As we bring up our kids, we mold ourselves in many ways to become a perfect mother. We try our best to make sure the children are brought up in the best way. But we, the Indian parents sometime yell or shout and even raise our hands to discipline our children. Will this really help? Not at all. Many  believe that children who are constantly being yelled at are more 
aggressive and unruly.

Actually, yelling or raising our hands helps only us by reliving our anger and it’s no way going to  help  the child. My father keep saying the home atmosphere is very important for the child’s development. If we are very soft and the home atmosphere is very calm always, then this will reflect on the child’s behavior and character. The child will grow into a less aggressive and non violent person.

We, being Indian should know that ahimsa ( non-violence ) is the best way to handle the problem. There are many Gandhi  principles – he said ” Always aim at complete harmony of thought and  word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well”. He also said that anger and intolerance are the enemies of  correct understanding. We all learned that we can achieve anything by being gentle and firm from our father of nation, 
but we fail to use it in our day to day life. Especially in bringing up the children.

We have very good moral stories to read for our children during bedtime, which make our children to understand the value of good behavior and life. Communication also plays a vital role, the more we communicate, the more we come close to our children. Remember, be a good listener and never argue or disagree in the first place.

Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no race or religion. — Mahatma Gandhi.

Goals…

Goals….

 

Everybody has some goal in every stage of the life…mostly they are career oriented. Or goals related to family.

 

Why not a personal or social or entertainment goal. Many find this a joke. But it’s very important to set goals in these areas which make our life very lively.

 

We all enjoy doing certain things like singing or dancing or painting or reading or decorating or shopping and so on…Doing certain things bring joy to us, we should really find out what brings joy for us and  work on it and make sure we allocate few hours in a week to make our life better. These goals keep changing as we grow and according to our interest…me when I am alone i would like to switch on my favorite music and some jingle to my body (don’t ask whether I know dancing).

 

Recently I realized that I should have time for myself. I decided to have at least an hour in a week away from my family and enjoy being lonely. This really relaxes me from day to day stress…and helps me to be fresh and relaxing for the rest the week…

 

When it comes to the social goal…we should know our positives and negatives like how we communicate with others, how we develop the relationship with others, and what all problems we face when we meet new people and also with our friends…my social goal is to develop a matured relationship with others and also communication skill…i am working on it…going through few books which helps me to reach my goals.

 

What I learned is, throughout our life we need to keep our mind open always to learn and adapt new things. When we try out new things we feel fresh and also make us feel young..It is also very important to know what is the latest trend in the fashion and also dressing up well; being looked elegant will always develop our self esteem and also make us feel good in a group. The way we dress shows how we pursue ourselves.

 

Keep smiling and enjoy every moment of our life.

On a fine evening while listening to my favorite songs…I felt very light and very happy. By God’s grace I am having a wonderful life from my birth till now…even though I faced various small problems but that didn’t affected me.

 

The most precious gift I ever got is my DAD’s love. Being away from him now, never passed a day without a thought about him. I feel guilty that I have never been a good daughter nor fulfilled  any of his wishes.

 

My dad did his best in bringing us up( both me and my brother). I don’t thing whether I will take that much effort in raising my own kids. He told us the bed time story till  9th class…taught me to play chess..tennis…made me watch sesame street…help us create a hobby in collecting stamps and currencies…always read nice articles to us…. gave all the exposure which he can…when he is free he tries to entertain us…he always lend his ear to me even when he was so tried after a long day at his work…

 

My father being a very simple man, who totally lived for us and still leaving for us…had hardly did anything for himself ..he always taught us it’s our responsibility to help people who are in need..we will only attain peace in life by serving others..

 

I was never a bright student..always struggled to get promoted to the next grade..my dad never showed temper on me regarding this..but  he always stood beside me..encouraged me..taught me…

 

He guided me to take major in rehabilitation science in college…so that I will have the attitude to serve the society and to learn about the community and life..during my college days my dad always encouraged to have good friends..in a time I need to take any decision, first thing my dad asked me was did I consult with my friends…

 

He always stressed me to have good career as it will support me in I am in any need. And also wanted me to achieve something in my carrier…He helped me to start and run a organization. He not only supported me financially but also showed tremendous support when ever I needed…he used to collect latest information which helped me in my professional carrier.

 

I was successful in running my own welfare organization until till I got married. My dad was least disappointed that I couldn’t continue it…he who always wanted me to get arrange marriage…but I didn’t fulfill his wish…this time he was very badly hurt. One thing I really appreciate in him is that he never ever criticized or not even said anything against my life partner after my marriage…unlike many of my friends parents who choose love marriage.

 

My dad still guides me in all the part of my life and his advise was always helpful for me….

 

Because of him I always feel I am so blessed….

Dad, thank you for being a wonderful dad.

 

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